Gone But Not Forgotten

I know that it has been a while since I've been on here...and I'd say that I'm sorry, but in reality I just couldn't figure out anything else to talk about.

But then I got a question that almost stopped me in my tracks, how did I end up this way? As in what did my parents do to get me to stay a virgin through high-school let alone college?



My answer, "I have no clue."

I mean, really!!! I can't really answer that question, not fully. I mean I don't and I can't see a fool-proof plan that would keep a young woman from opening her legs to that really cute guy who is lavishing all of their attention on this young woman.

Yes. I grew up in a household where both my Mother and Father were and still are together.
Yes. All of my siblings are my full legitimate siblings from a marriage.
Yes. I grew up in the Church and had and have a relationship with God from an early age.
No.  My parents never argued in front of us.

But does any of this truly mean that a child is going to stand firm in all that they were taught as a child?
The answer to the question above, by the way, is NO.

I mean it is the role of every child to rebel against their parents and to question their every move and action. And I for one was and am a very willful child. I found loopholes in all of my Father's injunctions and jumped through them, and I sometimes did specifically asked me not to just to see what the big deal was, and to see if he'd follow up with his warning.

It just so happened that I never questioned my parents on sex. In fact I only heard the word in a shameful context, so I wasn't going to bring it up EVER. And Trust, we never had THE TALK in my household, at least not the female children. We were left on or own, and considering how strong willed we were, it was best that way LOL.

I was trusted at an early age to never get in trouble, and my parents gave me all sorts of freedoms that my close friends questioned then and question even more so now. I often went over to friends homes on Fridays only to return on Sunday, without previous planning of the outing.

My parents taught me to be independent as soon as they could get me to dial a phone. And since I hated phones, that took well into my 8th grade year of school. And even then, most of the time I used the phone from my friends' homes to let my parents know where I was, but let's be honest, I knew that they weren't worried, so my calls frequently only happened because of the parents of my friends being scarred that my parents would be worried sick, so I called to allay their fears, not my own parents' fears.

But would this type of parenting work with all female children? HA!!! No. In the females in my family, there was an innate sense of self that led us all to believe that any guy would be lucky to have us, so why shoot for the first guy that comes along, especially if he doesn't even live up the standards seen in your own Father.

I've seen this in my cousins and my Aunts, and Mother, and it is the same, it basically says, "I am a Queen, and am worthy to be treated as such, and if you do just that, the keys to the Kingdom will be yours. But if you do not, then you may live in the wastelands of my heart with whatever I have left to offer you, because you shall not get the best of me, unlss you prove yourself worthy."

Do insecurities spring up and follow us, and dodge our steps, YEP!!! But not to the point where we would be willing to let go of that primary premise where it relate to men. I don't know why or how it lodged itself so deeply into my mind, but it did and I am a 25+ year old virgin because of it. 
 
So what can be done for all of our little girls? Love them, Love them some more, and when they fall down hard and make a HUGE mistake....LOVE them all the more.