Be Careful What You Wish For...

Over the past few weeks I've been watching the NBA Playoffs with various female friends, and one thing never seems to go out of style when watching these events, 1) Ooooo, He's cute, I wander if he's single? and 2) Oh, He is FINE!!! He can get it!!!

Needless to say, I'm not usually the speaker of either of these comments, and I wouldn't admit it even if I were. SMH.



But recent events have made me ponder the life as the girlfriend of one of these superstars, and while the glitz and glamor may have crossed my mind so did the groupies and haters. Needless to say, it was a short-lived exploration. I hate drama, and famous, good looking guys tend to attract drama like dark damp places tend to attract roaches.

But I did realize, that my take on this was rare, probably because my knowledge of this lifestyle is rare. I mean I not only know these guys I know the behind-the scenes type of stuff that most are not privy to, by sheer accident in most cases.

See, I've had the opportunity to be apart of an NCAA tournament bound basketball team, and two other basketball programs, traveling with them, attending their two-a-days, and every game day. I know what it takes to be a top notch recruit, and when you add in the fact that I also know a couple of guys who represent some ballers in the NBA and overseas, that legend only grows.

And why is this so rare? Because only 60 guys get drafted each year, and of those maybe five will still be on an active roster in five years. Those guys who don't make it tend to find themselves still in the game in other capacities, as agents, managers, on practice squads, coaching, as general managers, on summer teams, and overseas.

But trust, to make it in this world you have to know the right people, and that pool is shallow. You come across the same names and organizations time and time again, if you are truly in the know.

Getting in and staying in the league, is as much about your talent as it is about who is representing you, and who you know in the front office. So yeah, my knowledge, especially as a female, is pretty rare. And so my conclusions about these guys are bound to be rare as well.

Namely my assertion that I deny with every fiber of my being that these guys are dumb jocks. Not one of them. If you've ever seen one of their play books, you'd think twice about that moniker as well.

I played the game in Middle School, and still can not learn a tenth of the plays that these elite athletes have to learn each week, let alone over the course of a season.Coaches come up with new plays every week, EVERY WEEK, and then they change the signals and names of ones that their players have already learned, or they tweak them for special occasions, and these guys all have to learn them on the spot, in order to keep their spot in the starting rotation.

And then there's reading the defense, which is mostly the job of the point guard, but each player has to be aware of what the opposing team's strategy is, and where weaknesses in each defense is. They've got to know how to attack everything that the other team will throw at them, hence, they have to study and know not only their own plays, but the other team's as well. I'm tired just thinking about it all.

In short, these guys may not be rocket scientists, but they're not dumb, by any measure of the word.

So, with all of my praise of them, and my insider's (sort of) knowledge of the elite basketball player's world, one would think that I am all for dating one, except like I said before, I'm not.

I've been privy to a lot of the inside world, because it was clear as day, that I was NOT a groupie, but a gym-rat, who simply loved the game. As a female this is a tough line to walk, to assert your love for the game and those playing the game you love, without being named a groupie.

And while, my status has allowed me to witness some amazing events, that have never been and will never be announced to the public, my status also gives me first hand knowledge of how these guys view females because they see me as their younger sister.

I can't help it, although I am attracted to them, because I love the heart and spirit with which most of these guys play with, I hate, HATE, the culture with which most of these guys aspire to be apart of. A culture that leads to an 80% divorce rate over all pro sports.

I mean, this is the same culture that gives us VH1's Basketball Wives, or as I like to call them, Basketball Groupie's non-anonymous.

I can't, i can't, I can't, i cannot, I CAnnot, I CANNOT, be apart of something that sees women as doormats, and expensive sex toys.And say what you will, but the entire culture leads to such conclusions. And it starts with their AAU coaches and their entourage on up to their agents, managers, fellow teammates and coaches who all make it ok to cheat on your significant other by owning multiple phones for such occasions.

It is not ok by me. It disturbs me. And I won't even get started on the females who make this culture seem "tantalizing". Because that's a whole other rant, and I find myself too tired to care at the moment.

In short, even though I love the heart of these guys, I can't bring myself to trust them with mine.