Yesterday's question that I posed had a sad response that reminded me why I behave and believe as I do. And although I am trying to break myself of those bonds, I can't say that the bonds of being the ever Platonic Female has not had it's advantages in my life.
But as I am trying to be different, in order to grow, I was posed with a couple of scenarios of how I would respond with a guy I like, in order to see where my problems lay. Don't you know, my problem is the very thing I've been building up for as long as I can remember?
As I try to deconstruct that behavior in order to move from girl pal, to potential girlfriend (ha we'll see how THAT goes), I'll give you my unfettered pointers on how to go from being seen as one night stand material, to being seen as a girl pal without hurting feelings and without looking like a *witch*.
So, if you're in a position in your life where you really don't want a relationship, and are wishing that guys would stop looking at you like a piece of meat, I've got a few pointers that will help in that department.
1) Smile from your eyes all of the time.
This may seem counterproductive, but genuine smiles are hard to come by. And most people reserve their genuine smiles for only those people they deem "worthy".
A guy can easily pin point you as being interested in him if he sees that your smile goes from 10 watts to 100 watts whenever you see him. So bring out the 100 watt smile more often, and he'll be interested, but more importantly, unsure of your intentions where he is concerned.
2) Become Oblivious
Guy X keeps coming by your desk and asking what you're going to be up to later, instead of playing the game with him, answer truthfully...but the key is to do so without any hint of what you think that he's thinking in his head.
Guy X: "So ummm, what are you doing later?" (spoken sort of low and seductive)
Platonic Girl: "........Nothing, why?" (take your time and truly contemplate his question, imagine this as if he were asking a favor from you, like to watch some boring documentary for him or something...IDK)
Guy X: "Well I was thinking we could go see a movie and then...."
Platonic Girl: "And then what?" (Said with a strait face, but before he opens his mouth to answer, get really excited like a five year old and ask)
"...OOO!!!! I know!!! Can we go see Iron Man 2???" (And while Guy X has a permanent confused and hurt look on his face, continue talking about the awesomeness of this film and how much fun y'all are gonna have watching that movie and then eating at like Dave and Buster's, your new favorite restaurant).
Yeah, this works every time!!!! Why? Because most guys are use to girls playing along with them when they start going down their seductive path. They like playing games where they don't actually say the words that they mean, so that in case crap goes wrong, they can feign misunderstandings.
By refusing to acknowledge his tone of voice, and the usual overtures that signal "mating" calls, you've effectively told the guy "NO" without actually saying the word "no".
I actually came across this trick when I thought that every guy was trying to play a trick on me, and so, I did this instead in order to throw them off long enough for me get off their hook and back to doing whatever it was I was doing before they came along.
I'll put more up tomorrow. But for now, these are priceless.
Problems with these?
They can and often do backfire, but staying the course will eventually get your point across if that is THE point you actually want to get across.
Further complications:
Actions speak louder than words. So if your body language says one thing and your voice says another, guess who's screwed? 'Nuff said :-)
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