Don't Settle!!!

I was watching Steve Ward and his cast of dysfunctional couples on VH1's Tough Love Couples, and a comment that a mother spoke, on the show, to her son struck me HARD!!



She had been brought on the show because her destructive words about the woman her son was in love with was causing massive heartache in his relationship. So Steve had her on, in order to allow her son the opportunity to stand up for himself and the woman he loved in a respectful discourse.

As she was admonishing her son to be wise in who he chooses to marry, she said "Do you know the definition of 'to settle'? It means to gradually sink downward... Don't Settle!!"

Hit me sorta hard, I've gotta admit. It hit me sorta hard.

I mean, I've tried to take this stance in life, but I haven't always, and too often I find that many around me are willing to do so because it's the way things are done now-a-days.And I, for one, think that this is a load of bologna.

But yet it persists, everywhere, from relationships, to jobs, to even our education, we all take settling as a way of life, and I for one am fed up!!!!

I know that I have a lot of items on my must-haves where it comes to men, but not having this list, to me is what leads to unhappy and unfulfilled women walkin around telling me what's wrong with my life. Because the one's that are fulfilled, understand the reality and Truth that comes from holding up a standard and not dropping below it in order to live your best life.

It doesn't come from taking whatever you can get, and trying to move up later. That's for the birds, so count me out.

No, I am the first to admit that, I have not always been ready for what I thought I wanted. And thankfully, God never gave me what I thought I wanted. He only gave me what I needed, and I had to make do with that.

But each time He gave me something, He brought me closer to His purpose for me. Not my own. So yeah, I've never had a "real job", like I use to beg and pray for, but now I understand why not. And yeah, I've never been in a relationship, probably because He knew the two types of crazy that I was, and that I would not be able to handle it.

Now, am I any more or less crazy than anyone else...maybe, but I'm gonna take "no", as my final answer...so there! But, that does nothing but secure my Love for Him that He would keep me away from things that although flashy and shiny would have done nothing but deteriorate my pretty low self-esteem as it was.

I am once again in a spot where I think that I could offer a man and a job a ton of love and care and awesomeness. And I know that once again, I may be wrong, there may be more for me to learn, and now may not be the time to pull the trigger, but that doesn't stop me overall quest. I know my worth, but I also know that not every man that jumps in line to ask me out, is worth a teaspoon of salt, let alone my time of day.

I am amazing and beautiful and AWESOME, I am worth the chase, the climb and the fight in order to win my heart and affection. I am not just anyone,

I am ME!!!

And I don't settle...
 P.S. The son didn't settle, he did stand up for his woman, and he did so while maintaining the utmost respect for his Mom....Kudos!

Lessons learned:
Sometimes even when Momma's are wrong, they are right.

Further Lessons learned?
The best lives are lived when we don't settle for the status-quot just because it is the status-quot. After all, where would we all be if Bill Gates had surmised that the orginal Apple Computer was as good as we could get? I shiver at that implication....

Problems?
Sometimes that frog that you may pass up in your quest to not settle may end up being a prince for someone else, so you may feel and look like a fool.
But the willingness to stand and be counted as a fool in the quest for your prince is way more commendable than the willingness to fall for anything in the hopes to not be made to look like a fool.