LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry, about the title, but I was reading an article meant to give advice to female virgins about what they should know before they engage in the activity. And besides the advice being really bad, many who posted comments called virgins repressed and other crapola.(If you're not ready for sex...do not read this article, seriously)
At first I was pissed, I mean, who says that I was repressed?!?!? EVER!?!?!?!And by whom....I mean who do these people think repressed me?!?!?!?!
Best answer I can give is probably going to be my Dad.
Never had the sex talk when I was younger....ever in fact. So in that area, he had no influence....so Strike one.
Second best answer, my Church.
Good answer, but again off the mark. My church did indeed talk about sex being made for marriage, but I remember most of the sermons on such issues being aimed at the young men in the audience than at the women.I honestly only have vague memories of those sermons in fact, because once that three letter word was uttered I tuned out, the service was no longer for me. It was for those struggling with that "temptation", and sex tempted me about as much as Satan tempted Jesus in the wilderness,...not very. Strike two.
Next up: Society/ School
Well let's see, Salt & Pepper had "Let's Talk About Sex", Colour Me Badd had "I Wanna Sex You Up", and TLC had "Red Light Special". These songs seemed to promote sex, (albeit with a condom with Salt & Pepper's ode to safe sex), not NO sex. So society didn't exactly tell me "sex bad!!!" or "wait until marriage" or anything. So no, strike Three!!!!
But wait...what about School? Yeah right, sex-ed was....basically an anatomy class that didn't even teach me anatomy. I learned more about the human body from my older brother's comic books, which he'd been collecting since I was like six or something, than I ever did from sex-ed.
So, yeah, sorry the only place I was "repressed" was from my own observations of the male-female relationships going on around me.
Let's start with the fact that I was born between two boys, and for five or so years, I was the only daughter my folks had. And while pink and purple and Barbie was all great and all, I got bored really easily. Especially when I had no other girls to play with.
So I played with my brothers. And they played with LEGOS and blocks, and video games. And so did I. Moreover, I had to be better than my brothers if I wanted to play video games for any length of time, because the moment I lost, was the moment I had to give up the controller to either of my brothers, and I wasn't likely to get it back on that same day.
Needless to say, I got good, or at least good enough to play with them, whether it was Altered Beast, or kick ball in the backyard.
I was competitive and I knew I was as good as any of the boys in our neighborhood. And my older brother was proud of me in a sense and I reveled in his praise. But he was my competition as well, so it only went so far.
And since my brothers were pretty popular, and because of my Mom's open door policy, every boy in my neighborhood was my enemy. Because by the time I'd roll out of bed during our summer breaks, our living room would be full of boys from seemingly miles away, and I'd have no chance at playing Altered Beast or Sonic.
And seeing as there were so few females to play with, boys were my constant companions/competition. When the pool would open we'd play Sharks and Minnows and I'd hate every older boy who could swim to the bottom of the deep end of the pool and to the other side without coming up for air, they always won....GRRRR.
If I remember correctly I had had a crush on a couple of those older boys, but I hated them so much for their abilities and for their leaving me out of some of their games at times, that I always chose to compete against them whenever I could. And act as if they didn't exist when we weren't in head to head competition.
You see I'm a pretty sensitive girl, and stuff like leaving me out of games, or not inviting me to go hang out would hurt my feelings so much! So to get by, I'd pretend that those boys didn't matter. Because ultimately I'd prefer those boys to think that they never crossed my mind, than for them to know that they had hurt my feelings. I would not give them power over my feelings!!!!! i would be the Master of my own Domain!!!!....etc etc etc.
And these thoughts stayed with me, even as I went on to Middle and High School. I refused to allow any guy dominion over my feelings, and I felt that a guy definitely would get dominion over my feelings if I allowed him into my panties.
So....No panties for you...problem solved.
So see??? My original feelings on sex had NOTHING to do with being repressed, it had to do with competition, and my wanting to win!!! And I dare say, win I did, if my goal was to be over 25 and still single.
Lessons learned as the Black female version of Peter Pan:
Childish behaviors and thoughts are great when one is a child....or a Black, female version of Peter Pan.
Problems with being Peter Pan:
Childish behaviors and thoughts should be left to children.
Now I realize that Aaliyah's song "Age Ain't Nothin' But a Number", is absolutely true, but it should not be used to create a 10+ year age differential between one's real age and one's emotional age. But as it stands, I have been guilty of this...oh well.
Sorry, about the title, but I was reading an article meant to give advice to female virgins about what they should know before they engage in the activity. And besides the advice being really bad, many who posted comments called virgins repressed and other crapola.(If you're not ready for sex...do not read this article, seriously)
At first I was pissed, I mean, who says that I was repressed?!?!? EVER!?!?!?!And by whom....I mean who do these people think repressed me?!?!?!?!
Best answer I can give is probably going to be my Dad.
Never had the sex talk when I was younger....ever in fact. So in that area, he had no influence....so Strike one.
Second best answer, my Church.
Good answer, but again off the mark. My church did indeed talk about sex being made for marriage, but I remember most of the sermons on such issues being aimed at the young men in the audience than at the women.I honestly only have vague memories of those sermons in fact, because once that three letter word was uttered I tuned out, the service was no longer for me. It was for those struggling with that "temptation", and sex tempted me about as much as Satan tempted Jesus in the wilderness,...not very. Strike two.
Next up: Society/ School
Well let's see, Salt & Pepper had "Let's Talk About Sex", Colour Me Badd had "I Wanna Sex You Up", and TLC had "Red Light Special". These songs seemed to promote sex, (albeit with a condom with Salt & Pepper's ode to safe sex), not NO sex. So society didn't exactly tell me "sex bad!!!" or "wait until marriage" or anything. So no, strike Three!!!!
But wait...what about School? Yeah right, sex-ed was....basically an anatomy class that didn't even teach me anatomy. I learned more about the human body from my older brother's comic books, which he'd been collecting since I was like six or something, than I ever did from sex-ed.
So, yeah, sorry the only place I was "repressed" was from my own observations of the male-female relationships going on around me.
Let's start with the fact that I was born between two boys, and for five or so years, I was the only daughter my folks had. And while pink and purple and Barbie was all great and all, I got bored really easily. Especially when I had no other girls to play with.
So I played with my brothers. And they played with LEGOS and blocks, and video games. And so did I. Moreover, I had to be better than my brothers if I wanted to play video games for any length of time, because the moment I lost, was the moment I had to give up the controller to either of my brothers, and I wasn't likely to get it back on that same day.
Needless to say, I got good, or at least good enough to play with them, whether it was Altered Beast, or kick ball in the backyard.
I was competitive and I knew I was as good as any of the boys in our neighborhood. And my older brother was proud of me in a sense and I reveled in his praise. But he was my competition as well, so it only went so far.
And since my brothers were pretty popular, and because of my Mom's open door policy, every boy in my neighborhood was my enemy. Because by the time I'd roll out of bed during our summer breaks, our living room would be full of boys from seemingly miles away, and I'd have no chance at playing Altered Beast or Sonic.
And seeing as there were so few females to play with, boys were my constant companions/competition. When the pool would open we'd play Sharks and Minnows and I'd hate every older boy who could swim to the bottom of the deep end of the pool and to the other side without coming up for air, they always won....GRRRR.
If I remember correctly I had had a crush on a couple of those older boys, but I hated them so much for their abilities and for their leaving me out of some of their games at times, that I always chose to compete against them whenever I could. And act as if they didn't exist when we weren't in head to head competition.
You see I'm a pretty sensitive girl, and stuff like leaving me out of games, or not inviting me to go hang out would hurt my feelings so much! So to get by, I'd pretend that those boys didn't matter. Because ultimately I'd prefer those boys to think that they never crossed my mind, than for them to know that they had hurt my feelings. I would not give them power over my feelings!!!!! i would be the Master of my own Domain!!!!....etc etc etc.
And these thoughts stayed with me, even as I went on to Middle and High School. I refused to allow any guy dominion over my feelings, and I felt that a guy definitely would get dominion over my feelings if I allowed him into my panties.
So....No panties for you...problem solved.
So see??? My original feelings on sex had NOTHING to do with being repressed, it had to do with competition, and my wanting to win!!! And I dare say, win I did, if my goal was to be over 25 and still single.
Lessons learned as the Black female version of Peter Pan:
Childish behaviors and thoughts are great when one is a child....or a Black, female version of Peter Pan.
Problems with being Peter Pan:
Childish behaviors and thoughts should be left to children.
Now I realize that Aaliyah's song "Age Ain't Nothin' But a Number", is absolutely true, but it should not be used to create a 10+ year age differential between one's real age and one's emotional age. But as it stands, I have been guilty of this...oh well.
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