Saturday, April 21, 2012

Submission and Slavery


It’s listed in the Bible and used as one of the greatest weapons against women/ men/ and Christianity. Women say that men use the word to enslave them, men say women don’t do as the Bible commanded, and non-Christians say that word IS what keeps the poor and dispirited - poor and dispirited…

I'm going to ignore all of these arguments for the sake of time...and sanity and deal with it concerning relationships....healthy relationships. Because the thing is, is that submission was never intended to be something that put another in bondage. Jesus even submitted Himself to God’s perfect will in His prayer at Gethsemane(I hope I spelled that right). And still somehow this concept that submission = slavery is dominant throughout our society and literally tearing couples apart.

Particularly Black couples who have been tripping over this concept since coming to this Country. The question usually comes in how does a female submit to her husband and NOT be considered a doormat?

The answer comes, of course, in the more important question…what kind of man/husband are you submitting to?

If he is serving God, then he is attempting to actually do right by his wife, he is attempting to take care of her, cherish her, and their family. He thinks about what God would want him to do in a matter, and he is reciting the “Love is…”- mantra everyday. This is IF he is trying to follow God truly with his whole heart.

A man who is looking out for his own good, who will willingly steal or cheat another person, who will berate the fatherless, and dismiss those who cannot get him financial gain…is no type of guy to follow, or submit to.

It’s also super hard to submit to a guy who you don’t respect as a man, who you see as ridiculous or as dumb. When a woman is constantly second guessing or correcting the perceived or real mistakes of the man she is supposed be following…then the result is NEVER pretty.

The same can be said for a woman who does not trust the man she is with. Whether with her time, her affection, her heart or her money…if a man isn’t worthy of trust in these matters…then things probably won’t end well. So why not skip the slow and diabolical slide into Hades…and call it quits once you realize the problem?

Because as I see it, a man worthy of trust and respect will not make you feel like a slave for having submitted to his decisions. Nor will he demean you, or make you feel like a child or a louse. He’ll be worthy of said role as a leader in the home, and I’ll feel at peace letting him make most of the decisions.

As a woman, I believe that I was made in God’s image to reflect and represent His Beauty…not His Braun. Am I strong? Yep. You don’t make it to 30 years of age in this world without some sort of backbone….well…for the most part anyway.  

This is not to say that I am nor that I desire to be worthless…but in all honesty I am not going to fall for the trick that I HAVE to have some sort of official occupation in order to have value in this world.

I don’t have to do a Darned thing but be a woman, pay my taxes….when I have them to pay, and die. My worth comes from within me…my value from within me. I mean seriously for all who believe a stay at home mother is useless…how much do you pay your Nanny’s, Housekeeper’s, Personal Chef’s, Chauffeur’s, and Event Planner’s. Crap…my Mom did all of that and added Seamstress, Hairstylist, Nurse, and Personal Accountant to that list. When she had her mind, she was an amazing woman who never looked rushed and who always seemed to enjoy doing whatever it was that she was doing…unless she was driving around the ATL lost LOL.

I mean, the whole thing is, is that as a woman we must first believe and know that we are worthy to be taken care of. That our time and energy and our inner and outer beauty should be treasured like a piece of fine crystal…and not used like the cheap everyday plastic cups that we get from the Dollar Store.

Submission is a gift from one to another that simply says I trust you to make the right decision for us/me. It says…I trust that you are thinking about me when you make this decision. It says I offer you my support and condone whatever decision you choose to make. It lifts up, and gives that vote of confidence all of us want.

Without it, lawlessness happens…because no one trusts the next to do good by them.

And that’s not a world I want to live in.

But I’d love to hear your’s

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