Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Is Being a Groupie bad???

On Valentine's Day I was looking up stats on this Blog and ran along this google search as being one that led someone to my site. I was saddened and then sightly bouyed by the fact that such searches even go on...because if there are those who are asking the question, then I definitely want to weigh in.

First of all, I think the biggest thing is to define what a Groupie is. When the term first started being used it was simply a word used to describe those folks, generally female who followed a band around the country...ie they were literally "with the group". It was not an immediate association that said female slept with the rock & roll gods on the stage, but it wasn't too far to assume such either.

There are those who, back in the 60's considered these women, these groupies as muse like beings, writing songs about them, and forming quasi relationships with them. The expectation by both the rock god, and the groupie, though, was that this would NOT last forever. That when the tour was over, and when the sun came up, real life would intervene and that would be that.

But between the two, there was also some level of regard. She was a comfort out on the road and sometimes a muse, and he was her inspiration.

But that was then....now-a-days, there is NO muse like elements to the word groupie. And no amount of sugar coating the term can make it any easier to bear.

Now, it is assumed that a groupie is around because of the lights, the cameras, the money the prestige and the VIP status. And even if she respects and delights in the sport or music or other type of work that the guy is in, that this is far outweighed by the former reasons. In other words, a Groupie is a female who will literally suck the life out of a guy because she's not there for him, she's there because of the other stuff.

So in the end, being a groupie is never a good thing. But I think the bigger question is, whether or not you are truly a Groupie or not?

And I say this, because men and many times women cannot tell the difference until it is way too late. And often times those with no groupie tendencies fall into the category because they didn't know how to act to differentiate themselves from that pack of vultures.

I mean there are many different categories that you could fall into, but the key is to stay in that category until YOU choose to move into another category.

1) Fan - You watch them on TV, listen to them on the radio, like them on Facebook own every DVD or CD they've put out, go to meet & greets and take photos, write fan-mail, buy their jersey's or posters.
You Do NOT, get their phone number, or invade their personal space

2) Girlfriend - You are the significant other, you support the guy, look pretty at his games or concerts, walk the red carpet with him, and otherwise say nothing of note to the press unless you are a celeb of your own right.
Once the Girlfriend of one athlete or superstar...you cannot jump to his teammate or band mate or else you'll be given the status of #4

3) Colleague - You work for or with said guy or team. You may have their phone numbers, speak to them at odd hours because of the nature of your work...
You Do NOT - date or flirt with any of them unless you're ready to quit your job and become #2. You may not have to quit your job, but you should at least be prepared for that as a consequence.

4) Groupie - You are a blatant groupie letting everyone know what your deal is, or you pretend to be any of the others up top, while not so secretly sleeping with the entire team or band.

5) Friend - You can be a friend. But this is the hardest to travel, and generally cannot happen unless you knew said guy before he made his money, or are #3. Friends are happy and supportive of their superstar guy friends when they get in relationships. It's the ultimate love that very few of these guys have with females.

Now, like I said most folks can't tell the difference between any of these categories, and place any single female within a three mile radius of a good-looking and/or successful dude as a Groupie. In fact this is THE default landing zone for any and every female until proven otherwise.

Being in the sports industry I see firsthand how I have to prove myself over and over again to each and every person who doesn't previously know my love for sports. Fair or not I am looked at like I'm a pariah until I show them enough times that I could not care less about the rest, I am there to do my job and enjoy the contest like the rest of the fans.

I have to make the concerted effort to pre-analyze every action I'm thinking of making as if my superiors are there to witness the interaction without hearing a thing. I have to angle my body away from the players when I speak to them; only make eye contact if I have a distinct question to ask them; insist on calling their handlers and not them just in order to show them that I understand and respect my position and their's and that I am not trying to jump ship.

I rarely talk to the athletes unless strongly compelled to.

If you want to cry about this, or think it's cosmically unfair to have to prove your trustworthiness, seriously...get over it. It happens and we all do it.

Think back to the whole Isaiah Thomas and the New York Knicks, Dorrell Wright and a Golden State Warrior's female employee. In both cases, the female automatically lost her job, and she was vilified for having "seduced" or trying to seduce the A-List celebrity in question. Each time, the female was looked at as a gold-digger. Whether true or not, I'll simply say this, it's hard as Hades to get a job in the sports world whether as a guy or female, and you're judged way more often as a female, so I cannot see either of these females committing career suicide just to say that they had something going on with some superstar....sorry not buying it.

But I believe I was one of the few who bought the females' side of their stories. The rest of America hung them out to dry.

And so it goes with every other top male athlete or rock star, rap artist, or superstar. You have to keep a clear and distinct line of distance from these guys while being in their proximity just to get the respect of not getting that label.

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