Friday, March 11, 2011

Reason's Why You're Not Married part Deux

While I have the time, I guess I should get onto the next two points that the "evil" Tracy McMillan. Like I said before, I agree with her, and I'm single...obviously, but I like the simplicity of the post and wish to expand upon it only for discussion and clarifycation sake.
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3. You're a Slut.
Hooking up with some guy in a hot tub on a rooftop is fine for the ladies of Jersey Shore -- but they're not trying to get married. You are. Which means, unfortunately, that if you're having sex outside committed relationships, you will have to stop. Why? Because past a certain age, casual sex is like recreational heroin -- it doesn't stay recreational for long.
That's due in part to this thing called oxytocin -- a bonding hormone that is released when a woman a) nurses her baby and b) has an orgasm -- that will totally mess up your casual-sex game. It's why you can be f**k-buddying with some dude who isn't even all that great and the next thing you know, you're totally strung out on him. And you have no idea how it happened. Oxytocin, that's how it happened. And since nature can't discriminate between marriage material and Charlie Sheen, you're going to have to start being way more selective than you are right now.
 Now, I think this terminology is a bit low brow, but the realism is not. Biology backs up what the Church has been saying for a long time, that sex was meant to strengthen the ties that bind up a couple WITHIN a marriage. If you find that too harsh...oh well. But basically sex was meant to bring two people closer together, not for a dalliance here or there when you get randy. And I've read in places, don't take my word on it though, that semen actually changes the hormonal structure within a woman and will cause her to become more attached to the male for a lengthier period of time...the same is also true of kissing ie swapping saliva. The testosterone released by men usually create a binding effect in women.

So, yeah, casual sex? For women, doesn't really exist, not unless one has completely shut off their heart from the experience...and I'd wish that on no one!!


4. You're a Liar.
It usually goes something like this: you meet a guy who is cute and likes you, but he's not really available for a relationship. He has some condition that absolutely precludes his availability, like he's married, or he gets around town on a skateboard. Or maybe he just comes right out and says something cryptic and open to interpretation like, "I'm not really available for a relationship right now."
You know if you tell him the truth -- that you're ready for marriage -- he will stop calling. Usually that day. And you don't want that. So you just tell him how perfect this is because you only want to have sex for fun! You love having fun sex! And you don't want to get in a relationship at all! You swear!
About ten minutes later, the oxytocin kicks in. You start wanting more. But you don't tell him that. That's your secret -- just between you and 22,000 of your closest girlfriends. Instead, you hang around, having sex with him, waiting for him to figure out that he can't live without you. I have news: he will never "figure" this out. He already knows he can live without you just fine. And so do you. Or you wouldn't be lying to him in the first place.
 In reality, I think this one, and the B**** one are the ones that women more often than not misinterpreted, or only read the "liar" part and skipped right over the meat of what Tracy was saying.
No woman I know, gets into a "CASUAL" relationship...ever!!!!! Those who truly want nothing but a night in bed, generally don't get the guy's number, and further more refuses to talk to said dude during daylight hours. They don't want a relationship, and so won't even classify the dude as being casual...in other words, these women don't read articles with the titles "Why You're Not Married"...they don't read them because they already KNOW why...it's because they don't WANT to be.
So for every other woman who claims that they are willing to engage in a "Casual"..."No Strings Attached" relationship...has just entered into the biggest lie of all no relationship is casual...not one. And the woman that allows herself to believe that she can handle this, or that this is all she wants has lied to herself and therefore is...a liar.


Moreover, these two sort of equal the same thing to me, which I have seen a great many amazing women do, they allow a man to get the goodies without making him pay for the cow... translation? Why should a guy commit to his woman, who is really only his "casual" f*** buddy? It's like my friend who gets free samples of this great MAC product, which lasts forever by the way, and she asks, why should I pay for the product when they are willing to give it away for free?
As a further analogy though, the realism is, is that she's not going to go out there and buy any product that does the same thing from competitors because they aren't as good as MAC, but if she finds a product that is superior and does a much better job than MAC then, I'm sure her cheap behind will pony up the dough to get the better product. In reality, this is the same for women and men, if some dude is willing to pay everything for me and I have to do NOTHING in return, then the only way I'm moving on is if some dude makes it clear that he's much better for me than my sugar daddy, and that he respects himself enough not to deal with me until I've kicked my sugar daddy to the curb. This also holds true the opposite way around. Those who KNOW themselves to be a superior "product" don't cheapen themselves by giving anything away for free, they KNOW their value and hold off until someone else recognizes it as well.

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