Saturday, April 2, 2011

Chivalry is Dying Needlessly

This is yet another response to my cousin ABCiE...I'm getting tired of these by the way!!!!!!!! LOL. Not really though. She wrote this article and this article and this is my answer to both, because to me both go in the same realm.

I'd say that I am going to tread lightly...but I don't think I can logically do so, because the problem as I see it is an unintended response to women becoming more independent. You know the whole "I am woman Hear me Roar" sort of thing. I will NOT say that Feminism is the cause, because I think the word gets over used and is vastly misunderstood. But the Destiny's Child Independent Woman, IS the unintentional problem.



Chivalry's whole attitude was that a man was to take care of his woman at any cost. At EVERY cost. It was his right and his honor to die for his beautiful bride who would be on his lips as he lay dying on the war field. Men take pictures of their wives and girlfriends in their shirt pockets off to war...not their homies. Women were thought to be fragile and beautiful and innocent...even after marriage. Hence the opening of doors, coats over puddles, women walking on the inside of the man on the sidewalk. All of these things were done for women who thought more precious than diamonds. And let's be clear, diamonds are the strongest mineral in the world, yet who goes around doing their dishes with their precious diamond rings or bracelets on? Right.

It was an HONOR, not anything else. Of course it was twisted and has been by both men and women who look now at these things as being degrading to women. These women yell and stomp their feet and say that they do not need to be protected or honored or revered and so the rest of us have to live with the growing number of men who are confused as to how to properly honor a female as a female and so have given up on the attempt.

Now I cannot, and maybe I should have said this sooner, but I canNOT speak on what is going on in Belgium, but the trend there is pretty steady here in the states as well of young men not giving up their seats for women. So I can speak on that.

And as for the first date thing. Well, I think the whole thing comes down to something that I am ok with. Men get paid more for the same bit of work, and since I do NOT derive my self worth from how much I make, then I am quite ok with this and with him paying for not only the first date but pretty much every date.

I personally think that many women have been bamboozled by men, into this false sense of self that women long before never had a problem with. My mother for one, was happiest at home, sewing, cooking, keeping the house looking nice and being active in our school's PTAs. She got up when my Dad did to fix him breakfast and then got us up for school and fixed us breakfast. She worked doing one thing or another every day for the whole day until heading to bed when my Dad went to bed. She was our cook, our chauffeur, our nurse, our seamstress, our personal shopper, our accountant, our judge, our housekeeper, our hairdresser, and our secretary, all rolled into one beautiful, joyful peacekeeper. My Dad couldn't PAY her enough money to do all that she did. But what he did do was honor her and respect her for the position she held in our household.

Now I am not saying that all women should get back in the home, and in the kitchen...nope. But what I am saying is, is that if we were to accept that a man is supposed to be carrying the burden of taking care of his family, then this money issue won't be looked at in the same way. The ultimate problem comes in when men don't do what they should and leave it for the mothers of their children to shoulder the responsibility of not only raising the kids but also providing for them. But since this unequal pay thing, isn't going to solved anytime soon, then I am quite ok with a man paying on the first date. He makes more than me after all :-).

So like I said in the beginning, I think Chivalry is dying, and it's dying because we women have allowed men to decipher what makes a person useful in society. And until women remember we are pillars of society whether or not we make a dime, then we'll always will be playing second fiddle...and pushing men and their chivalry away.

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