A week or so ago a scientist from Japan claimed to have evidence that Black women were deemed to be the most unattractive form of all people...not just womanhood, but ALL people, period. He claimed that the raised level of testosterone in Black women caused this, while the same raised level of testosterone in Black men made them more attractive.
And while I could attack him as a Scientist...the point is not whether or not he is or is not a scientist, nor is it whether or not he is right...the point is, is that he is.
He is what, you ask? One of many people, a growing number it seems, who find it necessary to put down that which they don't understand. I will NOT argue his points, because it seems that not only the media at large but even Black women ourselves have difficulties finding beauty in our own natural form. So he is not the enemy. The enemy is the thought that all women are not equal. The enemy is the thought that beauty only comes in one type of package, a package that many Black women fall outside of.
It isn't so...but if you look to the world for answers to what Beauty is, then it will tell you that you need to look a certain way in order to be or possess beauty.
I seriously believe this to be ridiculous, I mean how crazy must one be to call one group of individuals less attractive than another...I mean you don't see people claiming that Daffodils are prettier than Roses, or Mums more spectacular than Hyacinth...but we as humans don't seem to see each other in the same way. We don't seem to see the unique beauty that each of us possess as a created being.
Some may want to point to the White standard, but in reality, that is only a symptom of the true problem, not the source. The source also isn't Black men who choose to date outside of their race. And although the media likes to blow it up into a thing that will cripple Black women, the media isn't the source either. They cannot claim a victory that was handed over to them a long time ago. The source is within each and every one of us who asks the wrong being for confirmation of our Beauty and purpose.
We are, as designed by God, as Beauty...incarnate. We posess God's perfect Beauty here on Earth as daughters of the Most High. Unfortunately as daughters of Eve...we also posess the will to step away from our true calling and purpose; and therefore have become lost.
Not too long ago I had the opportunity to see Vickie Winans perform live. In between each song she did a short silioquy of daily happenings, and in one of them she talked about her fight with her hair pieces. The story was funny to me until she got to the end and said, "I wander what God was thinking when He created us Black people? I mean it must have been an 'oh nappy day'!"
All around me, Black women of all ages and sizes and shapes were bent over laughing hard at the joke, while I stood unable and unwilling to even crack a smile. What she had just said, spoke to the very heart of so many Black women...that innately there is something wrong with us...from birth, that needs to be fixed with chemicals and heated iron.
Chris Rock did a whole movie on the subject, and countless talk shows have covered the trials of little Black girls who have been forced to receive relaxers from almost the time of their birth in order to be perceived as acceptable. This is not to mention the pressure from the workplace, and from families. When I went natural, my Dad wanted me to comb my hair everyday in order to show that I had "done" something to it. Never mind that my hair has a beautiful curl structure that can only be seen when I DON'T comb it.
Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against Black women getting relaxers, or weave, but I do have something against the pressure that is placed on us to do so. As if there is something wrong with the curly and nappy hair of my ancestors. It's one thing to want a change of pace, and to be able to style one's hair in a certain way, it's another to think you'll be viewed as "less than" if you don't conform.
And let's be totally clear, I am not just talking about hair, here. I am also talking about our skin tones. A good friend of mine who was shopping around for a recording contract at the age of 18 was told that she was did not have the right look to be an R&B singer. She's a size 2-4, is GORGEOUS, and is a dark cocoa hue. She was too dark. Literally, that's what she was told, that she wasn't light enough. And it really doesn't matter whether the record exec was Black, White or Latina...the point is, is that these things happen EVERYDAY.
So, when I say attack, I mean just that.
But the thing is, is that you can't go around counterattacking folks in order to feel better about yourself. Light skinned chicks, with bone strait hair are not the problem and are not the enemy. Blonde's and Brunet's and Redhead's are not the enemy. Black men are not the enemy. WE are our own greatest and most damaging enemy we have. We can either accept and begin to appreciate the Beauty that we possess, or we can continue to blame outside forces for highlighting our own insecurities.
Because, if it's not an insecurity, then what others say and believe will not bother or sway you from walking in your own God given Beauty. You will properly label such attackers as Haters, and move on. You will see the words of others as their own self destructive nature, trying to gain ground by preventing you from seeing your God given glory. Because let's face it, If you, and by YOU I mean every one of us, knew our worth, and knew that we were Beauty incarnate, how different would this world be?
There'd be no need for Beauty Pageants, elective plastic surgery, or best beach bod issues. We wouldn't go around looking for copies of magazines with pictures of celebs in them who hopefully will look like us. We wouldn't hate on women who get a lot of male attention. We wouldn't wish for smaller noses, or lips; for straighter hair, or skinnier backsides. We would walk with a sense of pride of what we and all women possess, God's Beauty.
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